when life doesn't go your way...

but it's obviously going "God's way." As if that's supposed to make one feel any better. In the heat of the moment, it doesn't seem to help. But over the course of time, I know it will.

(I know this blog post is more than over due, but its for a few reasons. #1. I had a post written a month ago that took over an hour to write and it got lost when the internet crashed one evening. needless to say, I gave up on posting it for a while. #2. It has taken me a while to organize my thoughts in a way that makes sense to anyone that reads this). 

(but back to the good stuff)...I have decided there are two ways you can respond to life when it doesn't go your way:

You can either become angry, upset, withdrawn, unhappy :(, pessimistic, feel as if you have been wronged by the world, become difficult to be around, and choose to give up (because that is the easy thing -and coward-ish thing to do). I feel that realistically, there is almost no way that you can vere from these feelings, if even for a few hours or days...

OR

You can choose to: not give up and persevere,thank God for trying to teach you something in not letting things "go your way" (not easy to do however in the heat of the moment). I feel like this stage of acceptance comes a bit later down the road, after the anger stage. With spiritual maturity, I feel like one can acheive this stage more quickly over time and not be as "stuck" in the angry stage.

Here's where our biggest struggles have been: Ben being alternate listed at 3 schools (more waiting til the end of summer now and the process of reapplying to more schools -MD/DO/PA has already begun), being content in our work, being so far away from friends and family, waiting for our next move, wanting a house but knowing that we are not ready to settle down (for 5-10 more years realistically), having a severe case of baby fever (when virtually every one of our friends here and back home are having kids of their own- okay maybe this is more of a "janell issue" than a "ben issue"), feeling left out, hoping God reveals his plan for us soon. 

It's one of those things where it seems like everyone else has it "all figured out". They have the family thing, baby thing, house thing, career thing, and contentment thing down pat. (yeah, I may be a bit jealous of all you...) Hear me out though, I am genuinely happy for all of you, I am just waiting for our turn to come. And it's feeling like it never will.

Waiting for a breakthrough, and a push up from the valley to the mountain top. It's been a LONG time coming. Its not as if we are severely unhappy or homesick rather, we are ready (so ready) for God to make a move in our lives, or send a sign that we are doing things according to His will and plans. I get God's trying to teach us a lesson. It seems to be the longest lecture of my life. "Patience, Patience, Patience my dear one."But hope that in the end it makes me a better person and us a better couple.

Today we had a great sermon by Pastor Dan. It was as if the sermon was meant for us (I love it when that happens). He focused on living our life according to God's terms and not our own. Also about realizing when things aren't going our way they are going the way God intended them to. In order to know if we are living life as God would have us, we need to grounded in the word, faithful in prayer, and surrounded by spiritual friends in which we can confide in.

This requires me to become less independent and 

more dependent on God and his plans for my/our life. 

Here is something I found on pinterest the other day that I thought was worth sharing...

 I pray that I can come to know this wholeheartedly sooner than later. Like REALLY know it, not half heartedly. No more questioning why things aren't working out or why God is making us wait for careers, kids, houses, etc... This does not seem like an easy task however. It's going to be easier to write down here than to actually put into action. Of course I still expect rejections or failed plans to cause some twinge of pain but I should be able to more quickly identify it and realize that maybe those plans were not in the right time, place, or situation for them to happen. Maybe God has something even better planned for our lives!  :)

So here's to soaking up the spontaneity and unknown, and basking in the glory of this adventure God has us on!

Until Later,

Janell